Lost Paradise
by Karura Ou
Summary: On the verge of dying, Kira remembers old things volume 9.


The characters of Angel Sanctuary belong to Yuki Kaori. I'm only borrowing them and playing with them but I promise not to break them (too much)!   
  
This story was haunting me since some time but I didn't know where to place it in the story line. Fortunately, Angel Sanctuary 9 came and I could find my inspiration.   
  
There are not too many spoilers in this story.   
  
Although this story isn't entirely **yaoi**, I consider it as a **shonen ai** story. So, if this kind of things offends you, do not read further. You have been warned.

Also, English is not my native langage so excuse me for my mistakes or my awkward sentences.  
  
Lost Paradise   
An Angel Sanctuary fic   
by Karura   
  
The tower was desert and only the Anagura moon was illuminating the stairs. Kira was slowly and hardly walking up the stairs, listening at his blood flowing every time he paused. "This body won't hold any longer," he thought. "But I want at least the strength to go near _him_." He managed to pass the last steps and finally arrived to the room where was lying Setsuna's corpse since Noise had brought him back from Assiah.   
  
"Setsuna," the young man whispered. "I'll be able to die at your side. I'm so glad... Then I will become again the divine sword. I still will be able to protect you but it won't be the same. I won't be able to stay by your side like before, comforting you when you're sad or even laugh with you." Kira sat near the altar where was laying the lifeless body of the saviour angel. "Well," he sighed, "I suppose it's better that way..."   
  
But he knew he was lying to himself. Waiting for the last spark of life in his body to disappear, he remembered old memories...

---

Kira woke up when he heard some noise in the room. He opened his eyes and recognised Setsuna without even seeing him. "It's you?" he said.   
  
Setsuna looked back at him, embarrassed. "Sempai..."   
  
Kira had a disillusioned smile. Now that Setsuna knew he wasn't human, their relationship had got seriously worse. "You're looking for some stuff?" he asked.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Then do it."   
  
Setsuna stayed frozen for a moment then he decided to go on his looking for. Kira sat on the window sill and lit up a cigarette. His gaze never left his roommate. The silence was getting heavier. Then Setsuna ended his packing. "I'm done," he said. He was visibly hesitating as though he wanted to say something else. Kira looked at his inner fight, doing nothing to help him. "Kira, I..." A hesitation again. Setsuna was sending him quick glances but Kira was only looking at him straight in the eyes, his eternal mocking smile on his lips.   
  
Setsuna finally managed to say: "I thank you for your words on the other day... about Sara... It took me time to understand but it helped me a lot recently..." Kira only shrugged. Setsuna went on: "How can you always find the right words to comfort me?"   
  
Kira threw carelessly his cigarette through the window. "Well, I don't know for the other times but this time... maybe it's because I also love someone I shouldn't..."   
  
Setsuna held his breath. When Kira turned to face him again, no doubt was allowed. His eyes widened because of the surprise and the shock. "Because... because I'm Alexiel?" the young man murmured.   
  
Kira smiled mockingly at him. "Who is talking about Alexiel?"   
  
Setsuna looked away, embarrassed. "Well... Kourai is also..."   
  
"Don't confuse me with this little lovesick demon. Unlike her, I can differentiate you from that angel."   
  
Setsuna leaned back on the wall opposite to the window, as though he needed a support. Kira looked at him then he turned his head with a chuckle. "My, don't made such a face. We had known each other since years after all. You have nothing to fear from me." Kira lit up another cigarette. "Go," he said, lowering his voice. "Rejoin your dear Sara. Times are not favourable to forbidden loves." He got up and headed for the door.   
  
Setsuna suddenly came in his way. "Kira, I..." he stammered.   
  
Kira gazed at him for a moment, surprised, then he understood. "Forget what I just said. Keep on living like before. After all, I'm not even human, am I?"   
  
Setsuna shut his eyes, hurt. Kira didn't want to hurt him but he didn't have the choice. Kira sensed suddenly that Setsuna had grabbed his arm. He cast him a stunned gaze. "I know it's not true," Setsuna said. "You can act as if you don't care but I know that, deep inside of you, you're not as bad as you want me to believe!"   
  
"And what makes you say this?"   
  
"I know you!"   
  
Kira chuckled. "You had know me for what, five years, six years? It's a very short time, you know." Setsuna didn't answer but his eyes became desperate. The taller young man went on: "The truth is you _want_ to believe I'm not bad."   
  
Setsuna shook his head. "No, I know what I'm saying. Don't ask me why but I know."   
  
Kira frowned, wondering if Alexiel had not just spoken through her reincarnation. But there was no sign of the fallen angel before him. It was only the Setsuna he had been with since years. "Very well," Kira said with a smile. "Let's suppose you're right. Would you still say I'm good if I do this?" Kira closed the distance between their faces and theirs lips made contact. Setsuna stepped back hurriedly and Kira leaned back too, hiding his disappointment beneath a bemused smile. "So, what do you think of me now?" he said.   
  
Setsuna didn't answer. He seemed too lost in his thoughts. Kira thought without humour that he was certainly calculating his chances to dash outside without Kira stopping him. He was surprised by the bitterness following such a thought. But what else would he have expected? He had known from the beginning that it was dangerous for him to differentiate Setsuna from Alexiel. One day of the other, Alexiel's personality would awake and then... the Setsuna he loved would disappear for ever.   
  
All those thoughts fell into oblivion when Setsuna came closer and kissed him. Surprised for a short moment, Kira enlaced then the younger boy and pulled him closer. Setsuna shuddered when their kiss deepened. Then it ended and Kira abandoned his friend's lips with disappointment. He was expecting Setsuna to leave for good and never see him again. So Kira's face showed his surprise when Setsuna stayed only a few inches away, his hands still resting on Kira's arms. He began to understand what Setsuna wanted. Then Kira smiled and bent on to capture his lips for the third time. He led him to the bed. Setsuna didn't protest.   
  
Kira had said that times weren't favourable to forbidden loves. It seemed he was wrong. He understood Setsuna's purpose, though. Innocent and naive as he was, the younger boy may be thinking that if he let Kira be happy, Heaven would return him the favour about Sara. Normally, Kira would have refused such a sacrifice. But Setsuna may disappear soon. Either he would die as in all his past incarnations or he would be supplanted by Alexiel's personality. And Kira hated Alexiel from the bottom of his heart. He cursed the day where the female angel had awoken him and always telling him what to do because she knew his secret: his true identity, a precious thing he had lost since times. Then Alexiel was dead without telling him who he was. It was only for this that he had followed her life after life: he wanted to know.   
  
He repressed a chuckle while Setsuna's hands were gripping his back. No, he had never been in love with Alexiel. How could such a monster be loved by the way? She may be a striking beauty but her soul was as black as Hell's darkness. All those angels pining for her, it was making him sick. Those idiots would never understand she was merely using them? She was thinking so high of herself that she could only allow herself to love the most powerful and wisest... The one that no angel could love...   
  
Kira decided it was time for him to stop thinking of Alexiel. After all, Setsuna was there with him like he had always dreamed of. Even if it was for a single night, even if Setsuna may regret it after, Kira couldn't let it go. Not yet...   
  
The morning arrived too quickly. Kira removed his hand from a sleeping Setsuna and got up. He got back his clothe and left the room. He knew perfectly what would be Setsuna's reaction when he woke up: regret and also shame. Kira preferred to make things easier between them. When Setsuna awoke alone, he would understand all of that and would surely be relieved. It was only for a night but Kira knew Alexiel had him now in another way. If ever 'she' awoke then she would certainly use this weakness against him. But it was too late for regret. Kira lit up a cigarette and disappear in the streets, leaving behind him the acrid smell of a forbidden love...

---

Here we are, he thought. This body has reached its limits...   
  
His gaze fell on Setsuna's serene face. It was the last vision he would bring with him. All of sudden, a shadow appeared on the floor and slowly took shape: it was a woman whose face was hidden under a hood. She stepped closer to him and lifted her hand on the injury on his shoulder. Kira opened his eyes when he realised his injury had healed. He grabbed the hand that had just saved him. "Why?" he asked. The woman didn't answer and disappear in a whirl of butterflies. It reminded him something, something from the past he had forgotten, but it vanished quickly.   
  
Kira stood up, rubbing his shoulder. His body was like repaired but he knew his next injury would kill him for sure. Well, he thought, I suppose it would be wiser to stay in the Anagura and wait for Setsuna's return. His gaze fell on the body sharing the room with him and he smiled mockingly. "But I had never been wise!"   
  
He prepared himself to go to the Shiol. Just before leaving the tower, he came closer to Setsuna and rested his hand on the smooth and cold cheek. "Very soon, we'll be together again.." Then he walked away, not allowing himself to look back. Even if Setsuna wasn't dead, Alexiel didn't control his spirit like he had feared. The situation was just as complicated, though. His love was unrequited whatever he would do. But if he could simply stay by Setsuna's side and protect him... It would be enough.   
  
As long as it was not under the shape of a stupid blade!   
  
End. 

I wish to make it clear that when I wrote this story, I didn't know that Kira, or Lucifer, was really in love with Alexiel or that Alexiel didn't really love God. Also Lucifer may have been in love with her but not Kira. So, if you consider Kira and Lucifer as two distinct people, it can work.


End file.
